Read, Write, Repeat.

Essays, fiction, photos and nonsensical ramblings by Joel Zlotnik

Dear April

Dear April, Would you like to know why you’re still single? Please see Plaintiff’s Exhibit A in Zlotnik v. April (eHarmony chick who doesn’t like to talk on the phone and prefers giving out her number for texting purposes only as a means to set up a date): Friday Jz, 3:20 p.m.: Hi April ……

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Workday Wondering

Sometimes, when I’m walking across the street, I wonder what it would feel like to get hit by a car. It doesn’t happen all the time. It’s more like every once in a while. It happens today as I’m walking back to the cubicle farm where I spend eight hours a day on the phone…

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Bless These Pants

Paul, his arms full of pants, stood in line with the other men. It looked to him almost like this was another department store going-out-of-business sale and everything was 75 percent off. Only if that were the case, the line would be 99 percent women and not a one was in sight … and he…

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Riding the Breeze

I lie in bed listening to the wind howling like an angry ghost. My window is cracked as usual – I like to fall asleep to the sounds of the nearby surf – and the breeze sends a chill through the room. The vertical blinds clack against each other reminding me of an out-of-rhythm tap dancer. I…

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British Axes

You might not know it by walking in today but any music lover in London should take a stroll down Denmark Street and stop in at No. 4 where you can stand under the chandelier in the spot where The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Kinks, The Yardbirds and Black Sabbath recorded their early albums. Sure…

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